"The spirit in which a thing is given determines that in which the debt is acknowledged; it's the intention, not the face-value of the gift, that's weighed." -- Seneca (1st century) "The defect of equality is that we only desire it with our superiors." -- Henry Becque "We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it -- and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again -- and that is well; but also whe will never sit down on a cold one anymore." -- Mark Twain "Never do card tricks for the boys you play poker with." -- American Proverb "A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject." -- Winston Churchill "Looking forward into an empty year strikes one with a certain awe, because one finds therein no recognition. The years behind have a friendly aspect, and they are warmed by the fires we have kindled, and all their echoes are the echoes of our own voices." -- Alexander Smith "Resolve to perform what you ought. Perform without fail what you resolve." -- Benjamin Franklin "One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and, if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words." -- Johann W. von Goethe "One man cannot hold another man down in a ditch without remaining in the ditch with him." -- Booker T. Washington "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." -- Edmund Burke "Start by doing what's necessary, then what's possible and suddenly you are doing the impossible." -- St. Francis of Assisi The lesson learned:"No matter how good you think you are, you are not that good. If you're going to get better, you have to learn from someone who is better". Ken Obrzut, Motorola Corp. "For here we are not afraid to follow truth wherever it may lead, nor to tolerate error so long as no reason is free to combat it." -- Thomas Jefferson "A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." -- Mark Twain "An intellectual is a man who take more words than necessary to tell more than he knows." -- Dwight D. Eisenhower "A great deal of talent is lot to the world for want of a little courage." -- Sydney Smith "The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get to the office." -- Robert Frost "Never bear more than one kind of trouble at a time. Some people bear three -- all they have had, all they have now, and all they expect to have." Edward Everett Hale "You don't seem to realize that a poor person who is unhappy is in a better position than a rich person who is unhappy. Because the poor person has hope. He thinks money would help." -- Jean Kerr "A cynic is a man, who when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin." -- H.L. Mencken "Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save." -- Will Rogers "Only two things are infiniite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." Albert Einstein "A politician thinks of the next election-- a statesman, of the next generation." -- James Freeman Clarke "Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem more afraid of life than death." __ James F. Byrnes #: 31396 S1/Collation & Chats "I think I'd rather take risks and fail than not take risks and still fail." (Playwrght) John Patrick Shanley "As lousy as things are now, tomorrow they will be somebody's good old days." -- Gerald Barzan "Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday, nothing has changed and nothing will!" -- John Day! "One of the greatest labor-saving inventions of today is tomorrow." -- Vincent T. Goss "The art of acceptance is the art of making someone who has just done you a small favor wish that he might have done you a greater one." -- Russell Lynes "The great tragedies of history occur not when right confronts wrong but when two rights confront each other." -- Henry Kissinger "The liar's punishment is not in the least that he is not believed but that he cannot believe anyone else." -- George Bernard Shaw "I have leaned this at least by my experiement: that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours." -- Henry David Thoreau A wedding Blessing May God bless you With hope enough to keep the dawn in your love, And fear enough to keep you holding hands in the dark. Unity enough to keep your roots entwined And separation enough to keep you reaching out for each other. Harmony enough to keep romance in your song, And discord enough to keep you tuning your love. "People are usually more convinced by reasons they discovered themselves than by those found by others." -- Blaise Pascal As riches and favor forsake a man, we discover him to be a fool, but nobody could find it out in his prosperity. - La Bruyere For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. - Jesus Christ No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon. - Jesus Christ I cannot think of a better response to the question on penthouses that you pose. As to the Social Security part: A man must first govern himself ere he be fit to govern a family, and his family ere he fit to bear the government in the commonwealth. - Sir Walter Raleigh "I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific," -- Lily Tomlin "Gossip is the art of saying nothing in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid." Walter Winchell "Doing easily what others find difficult is talent; doing what is impossible for talent is genius." -- Henri Frederie Amiel "Self-pity in the early stages is a snug as a feather mattress. Only when it hardens does it become uncomforable." -- Maya Angelou "If an animal does something, we call it instinct; if we do the same thing for the same reason, we call it inteligence." -- Will Cuppy "An optimist is a fellow who believes a housefly is looking for a way to get out." -- George Jean Nathan "Remember always that you have not only the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one." -- Eleanor Roosevelt "A mystic bond of brotherhood makes all men one." -- Thomas Carlyle "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." -- Martin Luther King, Jr. "If their is no wind, row." -- Latin Proverb "We don't receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us." -- Marcel Proust "One meets his destiny often on the road one takes to avoid it." -- French Proverb "There is no human problem which could not be solved if people would simply do as I advise." -- Gore Vidal "Tomorrow doesn't matter, for I have lived today." -- Horace (65 - 8 B.C.) "Whom God would destroy, He first makes mad." -- Euripides "He who sleeps in continual noise is wakened by silence." -- William Dean Howells "Perseverance is the great element of success. If you only knock long enough and loud enough at the gate, you are sure to wake up somebody." -- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow "The higher up you go, the more mistakes you're allowed. Right at the top, if you make enough of them, it's considered to be your style." -- Fred Astaire "It is difficult to make a man miserable while he feels he is worthy of himself and claims kindred to the great God who made him." -- Abraham Lincoln "Kissing is the glory of the human species." -- Tom Robbins THE MESSAGE IS CLEAR Six humans trapped by happenstance, in black and bitter cold. Each possessed a stick of wood, or so the story's told. Their dying fire in need of logs, the first woman held hers back, for on the faces around the fire she noticed one was black. The next man looking across the way saw one not of his church, and couldn't bring himself to give the fire his stick of birch. The third one sat in tattered clothes, he gave his coat a hitch. Why should his log be put to use to warm the idle rich? The rich man just sat back and thought of the wealth he had in store and how to keep what he had earned from the lazy, shiftless poor. The black man's face bespoke revenge. as the fire passed from his sight. For all he saw in his stick of wood was a chance to spite the white. And the last man of this forlorn group, did naught except for gain. Giving only to those who gave, was how he played the game. The log held tight in death's still hands, was proof of a human sin. They didn't die from the cold without, they died from the cold within. --Title unknown, author unknown "To know well, even if late we come to know it, is at least some gain." -- Sophocles "There is but one freedom, to put oneself right with death. After that, everything else is possible." -- Albert Camus "We reproach people for talking about themselves; but it is the subject they treat the best." -- Anatole France "We reproach people for talking about themselves; but it is the subject they treat the best." -- Anatole France "The great man is the man who does a thing for the first time." -- Alexander Smith "There is but one freedom, to put oneself right with death. After that, everything else is possible." -- Albert Camus THE MESSAGE IS CLEAR Six humans trapped by happenstance, in black and bitter cold. Each possessed a stick of wood, or so the story's told. Their dying fire in need of logs, the first woman held hers back, for on the faces around the fire she noticed one was black. The next man looking across the way saw one not of his church, and couldn't bring himself to give the fire his stick of birch. The third one sat in tattered clothes, he gave his coat a hitch. Why should his log be put to use to warm the idle rich? The rich man just sat back and thought of the wealth he had in store and how to keep what he had earned from the lazy, shiftless poor. The black man's face bespoke revenge. as the fire passed from his sight. For all he saw in his stick of wood was a chance to spite the white. And the last man of this forlorn group, did naught except for gain. Giving only to those who gave, was how he played the game. The log held tight in death's still hands, was proof of a human sin. They didn't die from the cold without, they died from the cold within. --Title unknown, author unknown "To know well, even if late we come to know it, is at least some gain." -- Sophocles "It is a common experience that a resolved problem difficult at night is resolved in the morning after the committee of sleep has worked on it." -- John Steinbeck "I don't know who my grandfather was; I am much more concerned to know what his grandson will be." Life is a wave, which no two consecutive moments of its existence is composed of the same particles." -- John Tyndall "You only live once, and if you play it right, once is all you need." -- Joe E. Lewis "Our life is what our thoughts make it." -- Marcus Aurelius Antoninus "One must separate from anything that forces one to repeat NO again and again." -- Friedrich Nietzche "It is not true that life is one damned thing after another -- it's one damned thing over and over." -- Edna St. Vincent Millay "Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society" Mark Twain "Beware of any endeavor requiring new clothes." H.D. Thoreau "If you can't convince them, confuse them." Harry Truman "Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much." Oscar Wilde "Doctors are just the same as lawyers. The only difference is lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too." Anton Chekov "It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for." Will Rogers "Men are born ignorant, not stupid; They are made stupid by education." Bertrand Russell "In the fight between you and the world; Back the world." Frank Zappa "I'm a great believer in luck. The harder I work, the more I have of it." Thomas Jefferson "I showed my appreciation of my native land in the usual Irish way. I left it as soon as I possibly could." George Bernard Shaw "The optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds; The pessimist knows it." J. Robert Oppenheimer "History repeats itself; That's one of the things that's wrong with history." Clarence Darrow "The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat." Lily Tomlin "One of the commonest of all diseases is diagnosis." Karl Krause "Experience is that wonderful thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again." F.P. Jones "Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself." A.H. Weiler "The command 'Be fruitful and multiply' was promulgated, according to our authorities, when the world's population consisted of two people." Dean William R. Inge "The measure of success is not whether you have a tough problem to deal with, but rather if it's the same problem you had last year." John Foster Dulles "They are able because they think they are able." Virgil "History would be a wonderful thing; If only it were true." H.L. Menkin "No one ever listened himself out of a job." Calvin Coolidge "The young always have the same problem: How to rebel and conform at the same time. They have solved this by defying their parents and copying one another." Quentin Crisp "If you pick up a dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. And that is the princple difference between a dog and a man." Mark Twain "If I were two faced, would I be wearing this one?" Abraham Lincoln "Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet." Kin Hubbard "If we see the light at the end of the tunnel, it's the light of an oncoming train." Robert Lowell "Never confuse an inter-office memo with Reality." Anon "I never can be completely sure that something is true until it has been 'officially denied.' Otto von Bismark "The best way to die is... Unexpectedly." Napolean Bonaparte "It is better to have a commander who is _lucky_ than one who is merely competant." Napolean Bonaparte "I discovered at an early age that most of the differences between average people and great people can be explained in three words -- "and then some." "Great people do what is expected of them, and then some. They are considerate and thoughtful of others, and then some. They meet their obligations and responsibilities fairly and squarly, and then some. They are good friends to friends, and then some. They can be counted on in an emergency or crisis, and then some." -- James E. Byrnes "The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind." -- William James "We know lots of things we didn't use to know, but we don't know any way to prevent 'em from happening." -- Will Rogers IT'S NOT EASY. . . to apologize, to begin over, to take advice, to admit error, to be unselfish, to be charitable, to keep on trying, to be considerate, to profit by mistakes, to forgive and forget, to think and then act, to shoulder a deserved blame, BUT . . . IT ALWAYS PAYS! From the Scottish Rite Torch, Memphis, Tennessee. As quoted by Bro. Max Shafer on MasNet BBS System. "Unfaithfulness in the keeping of an appointment is an act of clear dishonesty. You may as well borrow a person's money as his time." -- Horance Mann #: 37717 S1/Collation & Chats "He deserves Paradise who makes his companions laugh." -- the Koran "An aristocracy in a republic is like a chicken whose head has been cut off; it may run about in a lively way, but in fact it is dead." -- Nancy Mitford "There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have." -- Don Herold WHY ASK WHY Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there? Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime? Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings? If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors? If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan? If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen? If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights? Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM? Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways? Why is brassiere singular and panties plural? Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo? You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance? "I never give them [the public] hell. I just tell them the truth, and they think it is hell." -- Harry S. Truman "There are risks and costs to a program of action, but they are far less than the long-range risks and costs of comfortable inaction." -- John F. Kennedy "Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding about ourselves." -- Carl Jung "Man: A creature made at the end of a week's work when God was tired." Mark Twain "I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much." -- Mother Teresa "No partner in a love relationship ... should feel that he has to give up an essential part of himself to make it viable." -- May Sarton "When you have to make a choice and don't make it, that is in itself a choice." -- William James ...thought for the day... If thou findest thy wife in adultery, thou art free to kill her without trial, and canst not be punished. If, on the other hand, thou committest adultery, she durst not, and she has no right to, so much as lay a finger on thee. -- Marcus Porcius Cato (234-149 BCE) As it should be...... "Virtue is like a rich stone -- best plain set." -- Francis Bacon "Information's pretty thin stuff unless mixed." -- Clarence Day, Jr. "The ability to enjoy one's past is to live twice." -- Martial, 6 A.D. "What I love belongs to me. Not the chairs and tables in my house, but the masterpieces of the world. It is only a question of loving them enough." -- Elizabeth Bibescu "A person who can spell a word only one way has no imagination." -- Mark R. Sandstrom, 4/29/94 "The distance is nothing. It's only the first step that's important." -- Marquise du Deffand "Hating anything in the way of ill-natured gossip ourselves, we are always grateful to those who do it for us." -- Saki (H.H. Munro) FROM THE NE CORNER (Quips and Quotes from Here and There) "Here in Saudi Arabia, the items for sale in our garage sales never change, only the owners." A lot of people complain about their dumb boss. What they don't realize is that they'd be out of a job if their dumb boss was any smarter. Milo Lodge Golfer: "What's your handicap?" Arabian Lodge Golfer: "Honesty." Test Question: Into what state of inactivity do retirees go in the winter? Answer: Florida Ever notice that Health Club advertisments never include people who look like they need to be there. On hot days, my kind wife always leaves water out for the workmen in our neighborhood. Returning from a trip to the grocery store, I left a case of Pepsi on the front porch. While watching TV, I kept noticing workers pass back and forth by our front window. When it dawned on me what I had done, there was only one can left. Hide Christmas presents under your teenager's bed. He won't look there. I know, because he never looks there when I ask him to clean-up his room. When our secretary arrived late for work, she complained that "my husband couldn't get my motor started." I replied, "It happens to a lot of men after they reach forty." When you get that entrepeneurial urge, visit someone who has their own business. It may cure you. Looking at my old high school pictures, I complained to my mom, "Why did you let me go to school dressed like that." Not to say my young wife is a bad cook, but at our house when the smoke alarm goes off, its dinner. Father had been working on his will. At a family dinner he told us that he had provided well for Mother, but the family home would go to us children if she remarried. "I don't want another bum toasting his shins around my fireplace," he explained. Mother cracked, "What makes you think I'd marry another bum?" "I support an airbag in every automobile." said the Prime Minister. "Unless a Member of Parliment is on board, in which case it becomes redundant." Money is flat and meant to be piled up - Scottish Proverb. It's Tax Time: The good news is, you don't make enough money to be affected by the new tax rules. The bad news is, you don't make enough money to be affected by the new tax rules. When I was young and poor, I complained to my mother, that "every time I rise above the Government's poverty level, they raise it." "Dad what are these holes in the wood?" the son asked. "Those are knotholes." his father replied. "Well", the son complained, "if they aren't holes, what are they?" A Fisherman's Prayer - I pray that I may live to fish, until my dying day And when it comes to my last cast, I then must humbly pray. When in the Creator's great landing net, I peacfully sleep. That in His mercy, I be judged, big enough to keep. Bro. Jerry McKissack, MPS Its Just a Matter of Will Power. My wife and I were shopping in the grocery store when we passed the donut and sweet roll stand when we noticed a lone can of SLIMFAST (a diet drink/meal) was on the top shelf sitting among the boxes of donuts. The new Company "No Smoking Policy" has really made it tough on smokers. The other day I found an ex-smoker slumped over his desk. When I asked what was wrong, he said, "I had a blow-out; one of my nicotine patches gave way." Last evening my wife pointed out a work by a famous American architect in a magazine she was reading. She said, "This was designed by one of the Wright Brothers." I corrected her saying, "Don't you mean Frank Lloyd Wright?" Puzzled she replied, "Wasn't he one of the Wright Brothers?" Unfortunately, I didn't know if Frank Lloyd Wright had any brothers. (I find it's better not to correct your wife unless you know your Wrights.) Speaking of rights, I overheard a man in the florist shop ordering flowers for his wife. He told the florist, "I want the card to read - I'm sorry for last night. You were right." The florist asked "And how much do you want to spend on the flowers?" "Not too much" the man replied. "she wasn't that right." After reading the various speeches and reports brought back from the Grand Lodge Annual Communication, it seems to me that the things we fear most in organizations - fluctuations, disturbances, imbalances - are the primary sources of creativity. With a pet dog, you feed and water him, you give him plenty of affection, you take him into your house, you take him for walks, and he thinks, "Wow this guy is something special." With a pet cat, however, you feed him, you love him, you let him into your house, you care for him and he thinks "Wow, this guy must think I'm something special." Edinburgh MP to pollster - "Let me assure you sir, that we're not out to soak only the rich - we'll soak anybody we can!" "Progress is impossible without change; and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything." - George Bernard Shaw The wife of golfing couple passed-on and was joined in heaven 10 years later by her golfing husband. When she met her husband at the gates she exclaimed “Oh you’ll just love it here, they have the best golf courses you can imagine, lush fairways, large greens, no rough.” About then she noticed her husband getting angrier and angrier, and asked, "Honey, what's wrong?". The husband replied, "If hadn't been for your darn bran muffins, I could've been here five years earlier." My golfing friend asked how my wife;s golf instruction was coming along. I responded that I enjoyed having her along but it was sure hard saying "Nice shot sweetheart" 142 times with any sincerity. Bro. Jerry McKissack, MPS Between men and women there is no friendship. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship. -- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) "Oscariana" (1911) "Trouble is a part of your life, and if you don't share it, you don't give the person who loves you enough chance to love you enough." -- Dinah Shore "When the student is ready, the Master arrives." -- Buddhist Proverb I must go shopping today --- I am completely out of generosity and must get some more. I want to exchange the self-satisfaction I picked up the other day for real humility: they say it wears better. I must look for some tolerance, which is worn as a wrap this season. I saw a sample of kindness --- well, I'm a little low on that and one can never have too much of it. And I must try to match some patience I saw on a friend --- it was very becoming, and might look equally well on me. And I must remember to get my sense of humor mended [or minded, the handwriting is unclear] --- and keep my eyes open for some inexpensive goodness. Yes, I must go shopping today. =*=*=*= "When I was 14, I could not stand to be around my father, since he was so ignorant. When I became 21, I was amazed at how much knowledge he had gained in the past 7 years." Mark Twain Who is the bravest hero? He who turns his enemy into a friend." -- Hebrew proverb "A moment's insight is sometimes worth a life's experience." -- Oliver Wendell Holmes "Whether it is the best of times, or the worst of times, it is the only time you've got." -- Art Buchwald "So much is a man worth as he esteems himself." -- Francois Rabelais "Trouble is a part of your life, and if you don't share it, you don't give the person who loves you enough chance to love you enough." -- Dinah Shore "When the student is ready, the Master arrives." -- Buddhist Proverb If a child lives with criticism, He learns to condemn If a child lives with hostility, He learns to fight If a child lives with ridicule, He learns to be shy If a child lives with shame, He learns to feel guilty If a child lives with tolerance, He learns to be patient If a child lives with encouragement, He learns confidence If a child lives with praise, He learns to appreciate If a child lives with fairness, He learns justice If a child lives with security, He learns to have faith Ifa child lives with approval, He learns to like himself If a child lives with acceptance and friendship HE LEARNS TO FIND LOVE IN THE WORLD! "Marriage isn't a 50-50 proposition very often. It's more like 100-0 one moment and 0-100 the next." -- Billie Jean King "Marriage isn't a 50-50 proposition very often. It's more like 100-0 one moment and 0-100 the next." -- Billie Jean King Some people treat life like a slot machine------putting in as little as possible while hoping for the jackpot! The remarkable thing about most of us is our ability to to live beyond our means. With as many divorces as we have nowadays, it seems that more parents are running away from home than children............. "Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, put pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take them and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away." -- Dinah Maria Craik "The art of living isn't controlling what happens, that's impossible; the art of living is using what happens." Gloria Steinem "One's life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others by means of love, friendship, indignation, and compassion." -- Simone de Beauvoir Once upon a time there was a beautiful, graceful and healthy cat. Two fleas found this cat one day and thought it would be a good home to settle down and have a family. Theirs was an ideal life. Food, shelter and heat were provided. Life was good and it was easy. All they did was eat, sleep and multiply. Freedom from want and fear had been attained. They lived the good life. But the cat's coat of fur grew dull and thin. It continually scratched its fur. bald spots appeared where it scratched. It grew weary and and weak from being unappreciated. It had to carry the burden alone. No help was available from its guests. It finally crawled into its favorite private resting place and died. Panic and anger reigned among the fleas. They held protest meetings and complained their country had let them down. Some even threatened to boycott all cats. There were threats of suing the old cat for their rights. Many of those angry parasites perished on the cat. Other bitter ones trudged off into the cruel world but died trying to find another cat. None thought of working for himself. They had been parasites for so long they forgot how to be self reliant, thrifty and work for themselves. A few years ago, I bought a large aluminum baseball bat, painted it black, and put the words "Computer Repair Kit" on it. I keep it next to my PC. Ever since then, I've had no problems with my computer. :-- "Wrong must not win by technicalities." -- Aeschylus "That is a bad bridge which is shorter than the stream." -- German Proverb "If we had to tolerate in others all that we permit in ourselves, life would become completely unbearable." -- Georges Courtline "Every creator painfully experiences the chasm between his inner vision and its ultimate vision." -- Isaac Bashevis Singer "Intelligence is quickness in seeing things as they are." -- George Santayana "Do Not cut down the tree that gives you shade." -- Arabic proverb "Among all the diseases of the mind there is none more epidemical or more pernicious than the love of flattery." -- Sir Richard Steele "You may forget with whom you laughed, but you will never forget with whom you wept." -- Arab proverb My late father, who was a high ranking Mason, often told me "the trouble with asking questions is that you might get answers". "You may forget with whom you laughed, but you will never forget with whom you wept." -- Arab proverb My late father, who was a high ranking Mason, often told me "the trouble with asking questions is that you might get answers". Two things make for Happiness, the giving and the taking. It does not come by chance for it is something of our making. It does not drop from Heaven like manna from above, It is the result of how we live and how we love. The sharing and the caring and the doing of the thing that helps heal and ease a load, kind thoughts will bring Harmony and sympathy that money cannot buy, the happiness that deepens as the passing years go by. As the Honorable Louis D. Brandeis (U.S. SUPREME COURT JUSTICE 1928) wrote, "Experience should teach us to be most on our guard to protect liberty when the government's purposes are beneficent. Men born to freedom are naturally alert to repel invasion of their liberty by evil-minded rulers. The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding." Now, for the attention getting story....... It was about six o'clock on a beautiful spring morning that two gentlemen entered a very quiet neighborhood church. From their general appearance and dress, you could tell that one was wealthy and one was quite poor. Both wanted money to save their ailing businesses. Everyone knows that it's no use going to the banks, for they only loan money when you don't need it. So the only thing to do was go to church and pray. The rich man from his pew in front of the church prayed. "Lord," he said, "my business is broke and I need a million dollars. As you know I'm overdrawn at the banks, but you have all the money in the world. You have all the gold in Fort Knox; all the oil under the deserts; all the treasures of the world. Surely, you wouldn't miss a mere million dollars." The poor bankrupt gentleman also could be heard at prayer. "Dear God, my business is in trouble and I need five hundred dollars to save it. You have all the money in the world and you would not miss five hundred dollars." At this, the rich bankrupt got up, went to the poor bankrupt and said, "The Lord has heard your prayer. Here is my check for five hundred dollars, drawn on a Swiss Bank, so it will be honored. Go away, and rejoice and thank the Lord." The poor man left the church, praising God, and the rich bankrupt, went back on his knees, saying, "Now, Lord, If I can have your undivided attention........." -- 0 -- Now, I gotta' warn you; be prepared to hear a lot of pained groans if you use this sort of story. JL>Top reasons for World Domination: >5) Only need to know one language. >4) Cheap oil. >3) Everyone wants to be your friend. >2) Enemies can be crushed like bugs. >1) Chicks dig it! As Calvin said to Hobbes one day, "The surest sign that there is intelligent life in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." I can't help but think about something attributed to G. Bernard Shaw: "The reasonable man adapts himself to the conditions which surround him. The unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt surrounding conditions to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man." "Information's pretty thin stuff unless mixed with experience." --Clarence Day "Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence." --Robert Frost "There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance - that principle is contempt prior to investigation." _ Herbert Spencer THE HEART OF SALVATION/ENLIGHTENMENT IS: to be like a CHILD who views every thing with freshness to be an EXPLORER curious about what they will encounter to be an OBSERVER interested in what they can discover to be AWARE of the stream of life as it flows to be able to SEE what is happening around you to be able to be fully PRESENT in the current moment to be AWAKE enough to experience the beauty of life to be a QUESTIONER of strongly held assumptions to be a BEGINNER still able to learn new ideas to be a STUDENT who realizes they do not know to be NON-JUDGMENTAL open to each situation as it arises to be ADAPTABLE to varying circumstances to be UNCONDITIONED not set in any certain way to be BEYOND conceptual extremes to be FREE from machine like living all life is interconnected so live with simplicity OTHER RELATED THOUGHTS.......................... all life is interconnected so live with simplicity all life is sacred so life with compassion all life is changing so live with awareness all life is a teacher so live with humility > > >THE HEART OF SALVATION/ENLIGHTENMENT IS: > >to be like a CHILD who views every thing with freshness yes, as the saying goes -- he who becomes a child will enter the kingdom since the child has no pre-existant opinions about what he expects to see, he sees things as they are...very hard for adults to understand this, and even those that do find it even harder to put this into practice...easier said than done >to be an EXPLORER curious about what they will encounter very few psople go exploring, preferring to return to their old habits and old 'tried and true' ways of thinking. They read books all in the same subject area and go to the same restaurants and play the same sports...basically man feels comfortable repeating past acts and 'reconfirming' his view of life constantly...there is that reluctance to try something new or break out of the old patterns of thought. Perhaps, there is that little fear that if he went exploring he might discover that his view of the world is hopelessly incorrect. >to be an OBSERVER interested in what they can discover people do see what they want to see. They rearly see the true nature of things. And as such, the mind extracts and disgards those elements of their sensual environment that doesn't confirm to their picture of reality. By asking a man what he sees you can easily determine what type of mind he has developed for himself. >to be AWARE of the stream of life as it flows This is very difficult. For there are many levels of awareness. In general man is more or less asleep on some levels and awake on others. Most people walk around on the earth thinking that they are awake, because they can think and observe a few things. Then they meet someone who just saw the same movie that they did and are amazed at how much more detail and meaning the other person 'saw' in the film. Life is like that. It takes effort to wake up. But, it first requires that the man understand that he is asleep. Here the ego gets in the way and past concepts and an ingrained world view presents a formidable barrier to success. >to be able to SEE what is happening around you very hard indeed. Because their eyes are open, people think they can see. That belief stops them from seeing. The man who has the luxory of vision will not understand how a blind man can be aware of things he isn't. Sight can be a curse, for it overpowers the mind with that which is illusion. >to be a QUESTIONER of strongly held assumptions The way I like to express this is to point out the usefullness of the fool. For the fool cannot speak a single word without the knowledge and blessing of the supreme being. And He would not allow the fool to speak without making him cast his words in such a way so as to convey a message of His own. So, there are always two messages in the words of any fool. When the listener learns to ignore the fool and listen to the Father in him, then he will find his way. Unfortunately, most people look for the fool. And they find him. So, they loose sight of the Father. >to be a BEGINNER still able to learn new ideas too much desire to consider oneself an expert. A Scientist once said to a Wise man, 'I know the cause of things'. The Wize man replied, 'You know the correlation of things, your science does nothing but records the patterns observed in nature and gives them names. Your pride won't let you believe that you are ignorant, so you think to your self that you know the cause.' >to be a STUDENT who realizes they do not know then he must give up the quest for knowledge and seek wisdom instead. So what to do... The path to walk is to go in search of the crumbs of thought from all who have considered themselves wise. Then indeed the man will grow and finally, he will realise, that the world he knew he didn't know and couldn't know he was blind. Now with his full sight he sees his past plight and grasps the nature of it all. For the effort he made in the days he was blind helped to shape and develop his character. And emerging like the scarab from the mound, or the bee from the nest, or the butterfly from the chrysalis, he becomes like the eagle whose sight sees the whole world. Such is the mystery of the hidden truth that evades us all who can't see. It's a wonderful thing to be able to think for the scientist can use his simple trick of analogy. However for that, he needs to explore, the fields beyond his own scope. And by constantly changing the direction of his search he will eventually find himself inevitably, in someones church :) Such is the mystery of time. P.M.J pmj@ix.netcom.com ===================================================== "Wise men speak because they have something to say. Fools speak because they have to say something." ===================================================== You have all heard the story of the two men who were talking and one asked the other, "What do you think are the two most important things that are wrong with the people of this country?" His friend replied, "Look - I don't know and I don't care." The man replied, "You got them both right." Subject: Psychiatric Hotline RING . . . RING . . . CLICK "Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline." If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press. If you are experiencing a major depression, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer. If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear. This is the story of "The Touchstone": "When the great library of Alexandria burned, one book was saved. But it was not a valuable book; and so a poor man, who could read a little, bought it for a few coppers. The book wasn't very interesting, but between its pages there was something very interesting indeed. It was a thin strip of vellum on which was written the secret of the "Touchstone"! The Touchstone was a small pebble that could turn any common metal into pure gold. The writing explained that it was lying among thousands and thousands of other pebbles that looked exactly like it. But the secret was this: The real stone would feel warm, while ordinary pebbles are cold. So the man sold his few belongings, bought some simple supplies, camped on the seashore and began testing pebbles. He knew that if he picked up ordinary pebbles and threw them down again because they were cold, he might pick up the same pebble hundreds of times. So, when he felt one that was cold, he threw it into the sea. He spent a whole day doing this but none of them was the Touchstone. Yet he went on and on this way. Pick up a pebble. Cold ----- throw it into the sea. Pick up another. Throw it into the sea. The days stretched into weeks, the weeks into months. Yet he persisted from morning to night. One day, about midafternoon, he picked up a pebble and it was warm. He threw it into the sea before he realized what he had done. He had formed such a strong habit of throwing each pebble into the sea that when the one he wanted came along, he still threw it away. So it is with opportunity. Unless we are vigilant, it's easy to fail to recognize an opportunity when it is in hand and it's just as easy to throw it away." Twas the night before implementation and all through the house not a program was working, not even a browse. The programmers hung round their tubes in despair with hopes that a miracle soon would be there. The users were nestled all snug in their beds while visions of inquiries danced in their heads. When out of the cpu there arose such a clatter I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter. And what to my wandering eyes should appear but a super programmer with a six pack of beer. His resume glowed with experience so rare he turned out great code with a bit-pushers flair. More rapid than eagles, his programs they came - he whistled and shouted and called them by name; On update, on add, on inquire, on delete, on batch jobs, on closing, on functions complete. His eyes were glazed over, fingers nimble and lean from weekends and nights spent in front of a screen. A wink of his eye and a twist of his head soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread. He spoke not a word but went straight to his work turning specs into code; then he turned with a jerk and laying his finger upon the enter key, the system came up and worked perfectly. The updates updated, the deletes they deleted, the inquiries inquired, the closing completed. He tested each whistle, he tested each bell, and with nary an append, all had gone well. The system was finished, the tests were concluded, the clients' last changes were even included. And the user exclaimed with a snarl and a taunt, "It's just what I asked for but not what I want." - Author unknown. This is the story of "The Touchstone": "When the great library of Alexandria burned, one book was saved. But it was not a valuable book; and so a poor man, who could read a little, bought it for a few coppers. The book wasn't very interesting, but between its pages there was something very interesting indeed. It was a thin strip of vellum on which was written the secret of the "Touchstone"! The Touchstone was a small pebble that could turn any common metal into pure gold. The writing explained that it was lying among thousands and thousands of other pebbles that looked exactly like it. But the secret was this: The real stone would feel warm, while ordinary pebbles are cold. So the man sold his few belongings, bought some simple supplies, camped on the seashore and began testing pebbles. He knew that if he picked up ordinary pebbles and threw them down again because they were cold, he might pick up the same pebble hundreds of times. So, when he felt one that was cold, he threw it into the sea. He spent a whole day doing this but none of them was the Touchstone. Yet he went on and on this way. Pick up a pebble. Cold ----- throw it into the sea. Pick up another. Throw it into the sea. The days stretched into weeks, the weeks into months. Yet he persisted from morning to night. One day, about midafternoon, he picked up a pebble and it was warm. He threw it into the sea before he realized what he had done. He had formed such a strong habit of throwing each pebble into the sea that when the one he wanted came along, he still threw it away. So it is with opportunity. Unless we are vigilant, it's easy to fail to recognize an opportunity when it is in hand and it's just as easy to throw it away." >From the Salt Lake Tribune: "Lawyers typically aren't funny -- unless by accident. Case in point: The following questions from lawyers were taken from official court records nationwide... 1) Was that the same nose you broke as a child? 2) Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning? 3) Q: What heppened then? A: He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.' Q: Did he kill you? 4) Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war? 5) The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? 6) Were you alone or by yourself. 7) How long have you been a French Canadian? 8) Do you have any children or anything of that kind? 9) Q: I show you exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture. A: That's me. Q: Were you present when that picture was taken? 10) Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in? 11) Q: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated? 12) Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now? A: I'll be three months on November 8. Q: Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8? A: Yes. Q: What were you doing at that time? 13) Q: Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable? A: I used to be. Q: How many times have you committed suicide? 14) So you were gone until you returned? 15) Q: She had three children, right? A: Yes. Q: How many were boys? A: None. Q: Were there girls? 16) You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it? 17) Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement? A: Yes. Q: And these stairs, did they go up also? 18) Q: Have you lived in this town all your life? A: Not yet. 19) A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of unleashing a stupid question, interrupted himself and said, "Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next question." 20) Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Edington at the rose Chapel? A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30 p.m. Q: And Mr. Edington was dead at the time, is that correct? A: No, you stupid, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy! "Experience is not what happens to a man, it is what a man does with what happens to him". Aldous Huxley Experience is the hardest teacher because it first administers the test, then teaches the lesson. "They that give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty or safety" -- Benjamin Franklin "To commit the perfect crime you don't have to be intelligent, just in charge of the investigation that follows." "Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety." --Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790), reply of the Pennsylvania Assembly to the governor, November 11, 1755 <> - Rev. Karl Musser, Episkopos of the Cartographer's Conspiracy Cabal "As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppresion. In both instances there is a twilight when everything remains seemingly unchanged, and it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air, however slight, lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness" - Justice William O. Douglas You cannot go against nature because if you do go against nature that's part of nature too.... DID YOU KNOW? That SENIORS are the biggest carriers of AIDS?......... ....................................................... Hearing Aids...Band Aids........Rolaids........... Walking Aids.....Medicaid.....Federal Aid.......... A collection of newspaper headlines from around the world. Include your Children when Baking Cookies Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents Iraqi Head Seeks Arms Stud Tires Out Prostitutes Appeal to Pope Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again Eye Drops Off Shelf Teacher Strikes Idle Kids Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66 Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Axe Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told Miners Refuse to Work after Death Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant Stolen Painting Found by Tree Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years Drunken Drivers Paid ?1000 in `84 War Dims Hope for Peace If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft Kids Make Nutritious Snacks Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing Air Head Fired Steals Clock, Faces Time Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training A man went to a restaurant and said to the waitress: "I want a B.L.T nt." She said: "I know what B.L.T. is (a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich) but what is 'nt' ". The man said: " Not toasted." The waitress responded: "No problem". She brings the man a BLT and he looks at it and says: "S.O.B." The waitress says: "S.O.B." The man responed: "Soggy on bottom" to which the waitress responded: "S.H.I.T". The man said: "S.H.I.T." The waitress said: "Shoulda had it toasted." Fifty years ago, writing about the mechanics of Nazi propaganda, economist F. A. Hayek concluded, "The sense of and the respect for truth is the foundation of all morals." Undermine it, he said, and you undermine a nation. When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, "Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?" -- Quentin Crisp --- Once at a social gathering, Gladstone said to Disraeli, "I predict, Sir, that you will die either by hanging or of some vile disease". Disraeli replied, "That all depends, sir, upon whether I embrace your principles or your mistress." --- My wife ordered home delivery of our local newspaper. Because we live in a rural area where no street numbers are used, I was concerned that the carrier would have trouble finding us. Sure enough, we missed delivery several days despite frequent calls to the circulation department. Finally I phoned to cancel the subscription. "You'll have to tell me your exact location," the woman on the line said. "We can't cancel the subscription unless we know where you live." The Scotsman Oh, a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair, And one could tell by how he walked that he'd drunk more than his share. He fumbled 'round until he could no longer keep his feet, Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street. About that time two young and lovely girls just happened by, And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye, "See yon sleeping Scotsman, so strong and handsome built? I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt?" They crept up on the sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be, And lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see. And there, behold, for them to view beneath his Scottish skirt Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth. They marveled for a moment then one said, "We must be gone. But let's leave a present for our friend before we move along." As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bow Around the bonnie star the Scot's kilt did lift and show. Well, the Sotsman woke to Nature's call and stumbled toward the trees. Behind a bush he lifts his kilt and gawks at what he sees. And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes, "Lad, I don't know where ya been, but I see ya won first prize!" "Be ashamed to die until you have won some victory for mankind." --Horace Mann, 1859 There are two cardinal sins, from which all the others spring: impatience and laziness. ---Franz Kafka DEATH OF AN INNOCENT I went to a party, Mom, I remembered what you said. You told me not to drink, Mom, so I drank soda instead. I really felt proud inside, Mom, the way you said I would. I didn't drink and drive, Mom, even though the others said I should. I know I did the right thing, Mom, I know you are always right. Now the party is finally ending, Mom, as everyone is driving out of sight. As I got into my car, Mom, I knew I'd get home in one piece. Because of the way you raised me, so responsible and sweet. I started to drive away, Mom, but as I pulled out into the road, the other car didn't see me, Mom, and hit me like a load. As I lay there on the pavement, Mom, I hear the policeman say, the other guy is drunk, Mom, and now I'm the one to pay. I'm lying here dying, Mom. I wish you'd get here soon. How could this happen to me, Mom? My life just burst like a balloon. There is blood all around me, Mom, and most of it is mine. I hear the medic say, Mom, I'll die in a short time. I just wanted to tell you, Mom, I swear I didn't drink. It was the others, Mom. The others didn't think. He was probably at the same party as I. The only difference is, he drank and I will die. Why do people drink, Mom? It can ruin your whole life. I'm feeling sharp pains now. Pains just like a knife. The guy who hit me is walking, Mom, and I don't think it's fair. I'm lying here dying and all he can do is stare. Tell my brother not to cry, Mom. Tell Daddy to be brave. And when I go to heaven, Mom, put "Daddy's Girl" on my grave Someone should have told him, Mom, not to drink and drive. If only they had told him, Mom, I would still be alive. My breath is getting shorter, Mom. I'm becoming very scared. Please don't cry for me, Mom. When I needed you, you were always there. I have one last question, Mom, before I say good bye. I didn't drink and drive, so why am I the one to die? What does it mean when a guy says, "I'm going fishing."? I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid and then stand by a stream with a stick in my hand while the fish swim by in absolute and total safety. Found in a Swiss restaurant was a sign which read, "Our wines leave you nothing to hope for." How would you like to hear these words during your personal performance appraisal? "This employee is depriving a small, unknown village of the village idiot." There are two cardinal sins, from which all the others spring: impatience and laziness. ---Franz Kafka Here's where the saying the whole 9 yards came from... During WWII, fighter pilots in the South Pacific armed their planes with .50 caliber machine gun ammunition belts which measured exactly 27 feet before being loaded into the fuselage. If the pilot fired all their ammunition at a target, the used "the whole 9 yards." that a "jiffy" is an actual measure of a unit of time for 1/100th of a second? So if someone says they'll do it in a jiffy, they better be very quick. DEFINITIONS OF BASIC COOKING TERMS: TONGUE: A variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a cut of beef and a piece of dead cow. YOGURT: Semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods that taste exactly the same as they sound. The other two are goulash and squid. RECIPE: A series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don't own, to make a dish the dog won't eat. PORRIDGE: Thick oatmeal rarely found on American tables since children were granted the right to sue their parents. The name is an amalgamation of the words "Putrid," "hORRId," and "sluDGE." PREHEAT: To turn on the heat in an oven for a period of time before cooking a dish, so that the fingers may be burned when the food is put in, as well as when it is removed. OVEN: Compact home incinerator used for disposing of bulky pieces of meat and poultry. MICROWAVE OVEN: Space-age kitchen appliance that uses the principle of radar to locate and immediately destroy any food placed within the cooking compartment. CALORIE: Basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by the average individual prior to taking a second helping of a particular food. ARAB COFFEE: Thick, black, bitter coffee, traditionally served in tiny cups at gunpoint. _____________________ "In a terrible accident at a railroad crossing, a train smashed into a car and pushed it nearly four hundred yards down the track. Though no one was killed, the driver took the train company to court. At the trial, the engineer insisted that he had given the driver ample warning by waving his lantern back and forth for nearly a minute. He even stood and convincingly demonstrated how he'd done it. The court believed his story, and the suit was dismissed. 'Congratulations,' the lawyer said to the engineer when it was over. 'You did superbly under cross-examination.' 'Thanks,' he said, 'but he sure had me worried.' 'How's that?' the lawyer asked. 'I was afraid he was going to ask if the lantern was lit!' " ____________________ MEANEST MOTHER IN THE WORLD I had the meanest Mother in the world. While other kids had candy for breakfast, I had to eat cereal, eggs and toast. While other kids had cakes and candy for lunch, I had a sandwich. As you can guess, my dinner was different from other kids' dinners, too. My mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were on a chain gang or something. She had to know who our friends were and what we were doing. I am ashamed to admit it but she actually had the nerve to break the child labor law. She made us work. We had to wash dishes, make the beds and learn how to cook. That woman must have stayed awake nights thinking up things for us to do. And she insisted that we tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenagers, she was much wiser and our life became more unbearable. None of this tooting the car horn for us to come running; she embarrassed us to no end by insisting that friends come to the door to get us. I forgot to mention that most of our friends were allowed to date at the mature age of 12 or 13, but our old fashioned Mother refused to let us date at until we were 15. She really raised a bunch of squares. None of us were ever arrested for shoplifting or busted for dope. And who do we have to thank for this? You're right, our mean mother. I am trying to raise my children to stand a little straighter and taller and I am secretly tickled to pieces when my children call me mean. I thank God for giving me the meanest Mother in the world. Our country doesn't need a good five cent cigar. It needs more mean Mothers like mine. Ruth Edmunds Westerville, Ohio A Bag of Tools Isn't it strange That princes and kings, And clowns that caper In sawdust rings, And common people Like you and me Are builders for eternity? Each is given a bag of tools, A shapeless mass, A book of rules; And each must make, Ere life is flown, A stumbling block Or a stepping-stone. R. L. Sharpe Found in Masterpieces of Religious Verse, Edited by James Dalton Morrison Harper, 1948 Forgive Us Our Dead by R. C. Sproul, Jr. (coramdude@aol.com) Guilt can weigh heavy on a person. John Bunyan's classic allegory, The Pilgrim's Progress tells of a young man named Christian who goes through ordeals while carrying the weight of a boulder on his shoulders. The boulder symbolizes his guilt. No one likes carrying around guilt, though we all like to practice the sins which cause guilt. In the news of late has been the burdens on modern white folk and the trouble they are having carrying around racial guilt. The Southern Baptist Confession last summer offered up and apology to blacks for the sins of Baptists past. President Clinton offered up apologies from the federal government for the horror of the Tuskegee experiments wherein blacks were subjected to venereal disease, and given no treatment so that government scientists could study the progression of the disease (this despite the president's nomination of Henry Foster to the office of Surgeon General who was an accomplice to Tuskegee). I find the idea at least interesting, the offering up of apologies in behalf of dead ancestors. I have one ancestor for whom I would like to apologize. To the descendants of the brave men who fought for the liberty of Vicksburg, my sincere apologies for that Yankee marauder in my lineage who attacked your peace loving town. The problem with such apologies, however, is that it gets one to thinking about the moral character of generations past. To be sure there are sins there, but the more I am tempted to apologize for my ancestors, the more I realize that I ought to be apologizing to my ancestors. For all their flaws, I'm afraid that we, whether we are generation x-ers, boomers, or the parents of boomers, have much to be sorry for in how we have squandered our inheritance. We need to apologize that we have lost the vision of self-reliance which marked our ancestors as honorable folk. Our ancestors were a hardy bunch who looked to the state to protect their lives and property, and watched them carefully to be sure they didn't try to interfere. Today we look to the state for watchful care and nurture. We ask them to help us pay for the birth of our children through Medicaid. We ask them to feed our children through WIC. We ask them to babysit our children through Head Start. We ask them to educate our children though government schools, and feed them while they are there. We ask the state train our children in technical schools, colleges and universities. We ask them to help buy our children a home through HUD, and Fanny Mae. We ask them to provide jobs for our children, and when that fails, to put food on their tables through food stamps, and Unemployment Insurance. And then when our children grow old we place them fully under the loving care of the state through Social Security and Medicare. Our ancestors would no doubt be ashamed of us, while we seek cradle to grave security from the state and point our accusing fingers at their graves for being politically incorrect. We have squandered this inheritance not because our ancestors left us in a tight bind. We have jettisoned self-reliance not because hunger has forced us to compromise the values we were given. Rather we feed at the government trough at a time, and in a culture which is more prosperous than any that went before. We cry out to the state to take care of us, to "feel our pain" in the midst of a plenty our ancestors couldn't dream of. I am ashamed. But publicity stunt apologies won't make any difference. Forgiveness is found in repentance, and repentance means changing our ways. Instead of being ashamed of our ancestors, we should be working to make them proud of us. -- Work is of two kinds: First, altering the position of matter at or near the earth's surface relative to other matter. Second, telling other people to do so.---Bertrand Russell Seventeen Secrets to Success: 1. Keep your temper to yourself. 2. Give your enthusiasm to everybody. 3. Be yourself, forget yourself, become genuinely interested in the other person. 4. Be fair, honest, friendly--and you'll be admired and liked. 5. Make other people feel important. 6. Count your assets and stamp out self-pity. 7. Meet people at their own level. 8. Put your smile power to work. 9. Keep moving. 10. Keep trying. 11. Give the gift of heart. 12. Get off to a good start in anything you do. 13. Forgive yourself if you fail. 14. Be lavish with kindness. 15. Overwhelm people with your charm, not your power. 16. Keep your promises. 17. Be an optimist. ***** When Duty comes a-knocking at your gate, Welcome him in; for if you bid him wait, He will depart only to come once more And bring seven other duties to your door. --Edwin Markham ***** The only thing worse than the babbling of fools is to hear your own voice among them. --Michael Cochran ***** If we only wanted to be happy, it would be easy; but we always want to be happier than other people, which is almost always difficult, since we think them happier than they are. --Montesquieu *** We are not here to play, to dream, to drift, We have hard work to do, and loads to lift; Shun not the struggle, face it, 'tis God's gift. --Maltbie B. Babcock ***** Life Life is like a journey taken on a train, With two fellow travelers at each window pane: I may sit beside you all the journey through Or I may sit elsewhere, never knowing you; But should fate mark me to sit by your side, Let's be pleasant travelers, 'tis so short a ride. --Anonymous ***** Memory My mind lets go a thousand things, Like dates of wars and deaths of kings, And yet recalls the very hour-- 'Twas noon by yonder village tower, And on the last blue noon in May-- The wind came briskly up this way, Crisping the brook beside the road; Then, pausing here, set down its load Of pine-scents, and shook listlessly Two petals from that wild-rose tree. --Thomas Bailey Aldrich *****