LODGE OFFICERS

Worshipful Master
 Leaps tall buildings in a single bound, is more powerful than a locomotive,
is faster than a speeding bullet, and walks on water.

Senior Warden
 Leaps short buildings in a single bound, is more powerful than a switch
engine, is just as fast as a speeding bullet, and walks on water if sea is
calm, and talks with G-d.

Junior Warden
 Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds, is almost as
powerful as a switch engine, is faster than a speeding BB, and walks on water
in an indoor pool, and talks with G-d, with special approval.

Deacon
 Barely clears a Quonset hut, loses tug of war with locomotive, can fire a
speeding bullet, swims well, and is occasionally addressed by G-d.

Treasurer
 Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings, is run over by a
locomotive, can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self injury, dog
paddles, and talks to animals.

Steward
 Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter buildings, says "Look at the Choo
Choo," squirts himself with a water pistol, plays in mud puddles, and muddles
to himself.

Tiler
 Runs into buildings, recognizes locomotives two out of three times, is not
issued ammunition, can stay afloat with a life jacket, talks to walls.

Secretary
 Lifts buildings and walks under them, kicks locomotives off the tracks,
catches speeding bullets in his teeth and eats them, freezes water with a
single glance, and ... answers only to G-d. Sounds about right!

(changed into pure ASCII by Sysop)